Day 21

Day 21 October 24th

How would you pitch a reality show about yourself? To what network?

Combine Tionna Smalls, Jill Scott, sprinkle in a little Tami Roman, and boom “Here I is!” Not to mention I’m FAT GURL FLY! Who doesn’t love a cute fattie that can: hug you like momma, support you like a best friend, crack jokes betta than a drunk uncle, converse with the ivy league, set a table better than the butler, cook like grandma, "rock the boat" better than aaliyah and pinky, and hold a brotha down in the process of making major moves?

Oxygen

Day 20

Day 20 October 23rd

Describe your most difficult break up and what you learned from it.

Definitely the break up between my ex-fiancé and I. We were deeply connected, and imbedded in one another’s lives and I was in love. Ending any relationship that involved is beyond difficult. It is a life altering experience. I went through every emotion known to man. I think the thing that was most difficult to grasp was that I lost my best friend. The only person who literaly knew me inside and out was now gone. That hurt! We even did the on and off thing for a while. Eventually, I just got to a point where I couldn’t do it any more, the internal turmoil was too much. We remained friends and talked regularly for about a year, after that the friendship just diminished. I was dating again and he had moved his now wife and her children into his home. There was really nothing left to discuss at that point. If we see each other I think we would have a general and cordial conversation. (Hi, how are you? Have a good day.) So I think we parted ways amicably. I have no ill feelings, and I wish him well, I’d even confidently venture to say the feeling is mutual.

I learned me! I can honestly say I met ME for the first time after that experience. That relationship opened my eyes to my flaws, my attitude, and how difficult I can be to deal with at times. I know now, what I’m willing to accept from my partner, what I won’t, and the art of compromise! Beyond that I learned when to talk and how much is appropriate to say at a given time. Lol, truth be told I learned how to be seen and not heard, as the old people say. The push and pull of any relationship is a difficult line not to cross, but when you know your partner things become that much easier. I take the time to learn my partner, his likes, dislikes, mannerisms, facial expressions, favorite foods, childhood memories, bad dreams, and even how he likes his shirt ironed. An experience like that will cultivate and improve you, if you allow it too. Luckily I did!

 

Day 19

Day 19 October 22nd  

What is something about you that people would be surprised to learn?

            I like being quiet. I know that’s a shocker. LOL! I’d much rather listen in most cases and I find a hidden corner in the back of a crowded room the most comfortable.

Day 18

Day 18 October 21st

1.)    If you could have a conversation with yourself in high school, what would you say?
 
Lawd a mercy. What wouldn’t I say? LOL! Names have been removed, because although honest and outspoken, i aint rachet!
 
1.      Do not pass go, GO STRAIGHT TO COLLEGE AND FINISH! Take advantage of the small things the school has to offer that other people over look.
2.      Get your passport ASAP! GO ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE!
3.      Don’t be afraid of failure. Failure and death are the only sure things in life, if you never fail you haven’t done something right! Just keep trying until it happens.
4.      Pray more, and let God lead you.
5.      It’s ok to physically distance yourself a little from your family. You don’t need a crutch just in case you break a bone. You need a support system and you know you already have that in all of them.
6.      Enjoy Tremaine! You guys will have a great relationship, and no matter how it ends, cherish the lesson and move on. (Ok so we didn’t get married big deal. I wouldn’t tell the teenage me that though because I know I wouldn’t venture into the relationship.)
7.      Bypass two assholes! I know you’ll get lonely BUT they are not worth the trouble or aftermath.
8.      Yea, the “cut friend” phenom really ain’t you!
9.      That chick ain’t your friend. Leave her were you found her!
10.  Have fun, don’t take life so seriously. Everybody isn’t meant to be around for a lifetime, some people and places are just for the moment. So take advantage of the moment, you’ll never get another opportunity to re-live it.
11.  Write more often! Write anything, and don’t be so judgmental of what you put on paper.
12.  SHUT THE HELL UP! Yes, I said it! Keep your business your business. Privacy is the best policy. Keeps a lot of ish down.
13.  Some things are inevitable, just roll with the punches and bob and weave the best you can.

Day 17

Day 17 October 20th

1.)    What are your spiritual beliefs and how do they impact your relationships/relationship status?

Let me revert back to my answer on Day 8. “Five things that are the most important to you in a future mate.” Number 1 on my list was Christian!

“Christian – Hands down no questions asked! If we can’t pray together, we can’t lay together. It’s extremely important to me that my mate be spiritually grounded. I believe my husband should and will be the head of my household, so if he has no relationship with God I have to wonder who is leading him. I can’t entrust my life or that of my children to a man who can be easily consumed by society. I need him to be strong enough to stand alone when necessary, and I speak from experience when I tell you that can only happen with faith.”

I cannot entertain a romantic relationship with someone who does not have a relationship with God. I’m not super-duper spiritual, stuck on denominations, or the rules of religion. However, I do have a strong faith and belief system, upon which I rely heavily. Relationships are hard enough as it is. Two different people, from two totally different backgrounds and up bringing’s,  with different points of view and interests coming together to become one is a recipe for disaster without a solid foundation. I can, have, and will compromise on a lot but my partner’s faith is not an option.

Day 16

Day 16 October 19th

If you planted a time capsule right now of your life to be opened in 20 years, what would be in it?

That's easy!

• Plenty of books and loose pages of poems, short stories, and unfinished undefined pieces of writing.
• Music
• My passport
• A few recipes
• A family photo

Day 15

Day 15 October18th

 Narrate a conversation between you and someone in your life who you never had closure with (a friend, an ex, a family member, etc.) What would you say? What would they say? What outcome would you hope for?

Ok so yea, ummm........ not gonna happen. I'm one of those rare people that just don't give a damn! At the end of the day why the relationship ended, is irrelevant. Unless there was some sort of miscommunication, all that matters is that the relationships is over. I wont say sometimes I would'nt still wonder about what happened, but the thoughts are always fleeting in nature. Truth is, I get over it. I've been hurt by so-called friends, taken advantage of, and just simply outgrown people and situations. The why's and how's are unimportant, only the  "is" holds weight. So why worry about the coulda, shoulda, woulda's? That's not what I live for! I'd much rather focus on the people in my life who have proven themselves worthy of my time and attention.