Day 5

Day 5 October 8th

1.)    The biggest misconception you think people have about single life.

I think most people feel like you can’t be a whole person without your other half. If that ain’t a bunch of BS. I think single people (usually in their late 20’s and older) are the most complete individuals on earth. By that age most people have had the time to cultivate who they are as individuals. In short you know who you are, and that makes you more effective as a person in any relationship and/or situation.

Day 4

Day 4 October 7th

1.)    Your biggest fear as a single person.

That’s probably the easiest for me to answer. My biggest fear by far is that I’ll never be a wife or mother. Either that or I’ll end up with an asshole!

Day 3

Day 3 October 6^th

1.)    Describe a moment or day when being single was really awesome.

I had just put my ex out. He wasn’t exactly the best boyfriend anyway, so there was no sweat off my back. Any who, I remember I didn’t feel like cooking so I didn’t. I picked up something for dinner on my way home. And it felt really good, to do what I wanted, just because I wanted too, and not worry about spending excess money because this or that bill needed to be paid. After all, when you’re the only person fending for two grown folk you have to be budget conscious. Hence, why I put him out….LOL

Day 2

Day 2 October 5^th

1.)    Describe a moment or a day when being single really sucked.       

I was  at Red Lobster recently with my best friend. It was only a week left in their all you can eat shrimp special. Don’t judge me! Anyway, there was a young couple with a baby girl. Dad carried the baby carriage and still managed to hold the door open for mom. They seemed so secure and comfortable with one another. From his stance you could tell, he loved both his ladies and was very protective of both in their respective right. His hand rested on mom’s right hip, and when a seat became available in the waiting area he stood and allowed her to sit. When they were seated a few tables away from us, dad held, fed, and burped the baby before he even touched his food. I was supremely jealous! I instantly wished I was to be so lucky as to find and be blessed with a man who was as protective, affectionate, attractive (did I forget to mention the brotha was fine?), attentive, and a great dad.

30-Day Challenge ( Day 1)

I rarely ever feel challenges relevant but my twitter friend @TheSingleWoman posted a 30-Day Blogging Challenge, so since my blog could use a bit of exercise I decided I’d give it a try. So for the next 30 days I will try my best to be open and honest in answering and elaborating my response to each of the 30 questions. I hope you’ll join me or in the very least find some sort of amusement in the craziness that is my thoughts.  I’m a few days behind, so the first post will contain a few questions and answers. A link to the challenge is listed below. Happy Blogging!

http://thesinglewoman.net/2013/10/04/the-single-womans-30-day-blogging-challenge/

Day 1 October 4th

1.)    Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are you single?”

Why do married people or people in relationships always feel it’s something wrong with you if you’re single and over the age of 25? The question alone usually comes along with some sort of unspoken condemnation. My counter reply you ask “Chile Boo, BYE!” I’m happy being exactly who I am! Now saying I’m a happy and satisfied single is stretching it just a bit. Ok, a lot! But that doesn’t mean I’m not content in my singleness, which by the way I am. I’m single by default. My infamous reply is always the same “I’m forced to be single, because I choose not to settle!” I’m one of a few in a rare breed, and the danger with women like me, is we know it. I have a lot to offer my potential mate, and I need someone who is willing and able to meet me halfway. Beyond that I’m prayerful. I’m picky as all get out, so I continually pray for discernment in choosing my mate. Let’s be real, at 27 I’m looking to be in this thing for the long haul. I’m not interested in another extensive relationship that does not end in “I now pronounce you husband and wife.”  And I know in order for that to happen I need to be patient, understanding, and quiet so I can hear God when He speaks. So even though I get lonely, and would say I do tomorrow if I could, I think its best I wait on His approval.

Resolutions

Yesterday began a new year. 2013! And people have already begun implementing their new year’s resolution. I don’t have a New Year’s resolution. Frankly I don’t believe in them, I feel their irrelevant to someone who truly wants to make life changes besides the fact that those who begin only last a few weeks to a month. Maybe, it’s the date that is significant to most. The 1^st day of the 1^st month of a brand new year provides an opportunity to reinvent a new you. It’s really kinda funny if you think about it. Every day you wake up with breath in your body is an opportunity to change. A  brand new day with brand new mercies, a brand new morning unlike any other. Why? Because it’s a day that you will never have the pleasure to revisit again in life, so why not take full advantage of being the best “you” possible? Personally I make my best most life altering decisions spur of the moment or unconsciously. Sure I put some thought into my decisions, a lot of thought actually, but rarely if ever do I make an immediate definitive decision. For example, I wanted to purchase a new car. I looked around, even visited a few car lots, narrowed down my budget, exactly what I wanted, and nearly bought two on two separate occasions. But I never did sign the paperwork. About 6-8 months later, I got a letter in the mail that my bank was doing their annual APR sale. I was at work and decided to go to the bank on my lunch break just to “see what they would say.” The assistant branch manager assisted me and after taking all my information she asked me how much I wanted. I gave her a number; she clicked about 3 buttons and said ok. I was flabbergasted, in awe, surprised, shocked, to put it mildly! Needless to say I found the car I wanted (or rather my ex found it for me) minus two amenities and under budget. My first major purchase was not only a good decision but a great financial decision, it felt really good. I didn’t go crazy, I knew what I could afford, I did the research, and made a responsible spur of the moment decision. The same thing happened when I decided to go back to school. In general conversation I said “I think I’m gonna go back to school.” A few days later I had some free time, and filled out the college application and my FAFSA. Out of the blue I decided to make a change and out of the blue I did. It was not a result of an impending date, it just happened. I would be naive to believe the same system would work for you. To each his or her own, I’m just telling you my experiences and my confusion with the importance of a specific date. As my last relationship came to an end a few months ago, I began to reevaluate my integrity system, my expectations, and wants. I began to wonder why I always felt it acceptable to ask God for more, and not abundantly thank or praise him for what I already have. Unconsciously I began to assess, reassess, and move into action. The result; every day I find a new reason to say thank Him. Just this morning, I was driving to work and a car in front of me in the opposite lane had “MERRY CHRIUTMAS” spelled out on its rear windshield. I did a double take, and began to giggle. First of all its 8 days after Christmas, and secondly the word contains no “U”. Subsequently I said “Lord, thank you for laughter.” Nothing major, it wasn’t a life altering experiences, but it made my morning drive just a little bit better. And if you put just a little mind muscle to it you can conclude that that’s all a resolution really is anyway. It’s just a decision or change that makes your life just a little bit better.

 

I'm Jus Sayin!

Niqi P.

Intimidation or Ignorance?

Recently I went to a local Dunkin Donuts for breakfast before work. Needless to say the restaurant was overcrowded with early morningers needing their daily dose of java. Surprisingly I was in no hurry as I had some time on my hands. There was a gentleman in front of me in line. He turned to view the length of the line and smiled as he realized I was in his direct line of view. I returned his smile, Good morning. Morning I replied. My phone vibrated, I checked to see if I received a text, there was none, only my daily bible verse. I scanned it quickly and redeposited the electronic device back into the contents of my handbag. When I looked up to reassess the line the gentleman was staring at me. A bit startled I recovered quickly and smiled again. Is this line even moving, I offered. Slowly he responded. I took the moment to consider his appearance; casually dressed and not necessarily unattractive. Excuse me miss. Yes? Do you work in the area? Yes, just around the corner, if this line every moves I can get to work in about two minutes. We both chuckled. The mood is very light and easy. He then initiated what I consider the run down: age, occupation, children, living situation, marital status, etc. He was 31, two children, worked for a local company, had moved back in with his parents “recently”, and was single. I’ll be honest, he replies; I think you’re very pretty. Again I smile and begin to say thank you but immediately retreat as I realize he is not finished. You are a bit intimidating but I just can’t pass you up. Ever have that feeling like you’re in an easy groove then suddenly the music stops? No longer flattered by his comment I ask, why an I intimidating? Without even a though he responds, BECAUSE YOUR WELL SPOKEN. I quickly recomposed the “wow” look that I’m sure was plastered on my face, thanked him for his compliment and gave him the wrong number when he asked for it. Needless to say I am in complete and utter shock at the ignorance of some people. Should every conversation begin with, ay yo wassup? Should I be referred to or respond to shawty? I am at a loss? When did proper English and pronunciation of the English language become intimidating? Do to my profession and home training I am accustomed to speaking correctly. Among friends: yea, huh, whateva, and hell run rampant as there is no concern for vocabulary after all your inner circle should be well aware of your limitations and first impressions have long ago been dismissed as trivial. I will admit more than likely I would not have given the gentleman my contact information (simply due to his living situation and number of children, which is another discussion for another time. However, any inclination I may have had to allow any further communication was completely negated after his second comment, after all up until that point the entire exchange had been quite pleasurable. Seriously, how effective could a future be (as friends, lovers, etc.) if I am intimidating? Should I “dummy down” to protect your manhood or male ego? When did being able to clearly understand a person’s words become an issue? There is no room for miscommunication because I ensure you clearly hear what is being said. Whether or not an individual can comprehend my statements is another issue all together. Now to some this may seem like a rant and I concur it very well may be, however the issue of ignorance cannot be disputed!

I’m Jus Sayin

Niqi P.