Day 20

Day 20 October 23rd

Describe your most difficult break up and what you learned from it.

Definitely the break up between my ex-fiancé and I. We were deeply connected, and imbedded in one another’s lives and I was in love. Ending any relationship that involved is beyond difficult. It is a life altering experience. I went through every emotion known to man. I think the thing that was most difficult to grasp was that I lost my best friend. The only person who literaly knew me inside and out was now gone. That hurt! We even did the on and off thing for a while. Eventually, I just got to a point where I couldn’t do it any more, the internal turmoil was too much. We remained friends and talked regularly for about a year, after that the friendship just diminished. I was dating again and he had moved his now wife and her children into his home. There was really nothing left to discuss at that point. If we see each other I think we would have a general and cordial conversation. (Hi, how are you? Have a good day.) So I think we parted ways amicably. I have no ill feelings, and I wish him well, I’d even confidently venture to say the feeling is mutual.

I learned me! I can honestly say I met ME for the first time after that experience. That relationship opened my eyes to my flaws, my attitude, and how difficult I can be to deal with at times. I know now, what I’m willing to accept from my partner, what I won’t, and the art of compromise! Beyond that I learned when to talk and how much is appropriate to say at a given time. Lol, truth be told I learned how to be seen and not heard, as the old people say. The push and pull of any relationship is a difficult line not to cross, but when you know your partner things become that much easier. I take the time to learn my partner, his likes, dislikes, mannerisms, facial expressions, favorite foods, childhood memories, bad dreams, and even how he likes his shirt ironed. An experience like that will cultivate and improve you, if you allow it too. Luckily I did!