Ms. Independant......

Over the past few years there has been a surprising epidemic uprising of Ms. Independent. First it was Destiny's Child, then Webbie, now Jaime and Ne-Yo. This new mentality has for lack of a better word boggled me. What exactly is independent? Dictionary.com defines independent as "not dependent on anything else for function, validity, etc; not reliant on the support, especially financial support, of others." After researching the clinical definition I had to revisit and reevaluate the way we use the word in the black community as it refers to the black woman. Most women rep the independent badge when they have their own (job, car, home, etc.) and they take care of their own (family, children, etc.) without the financial assistance of a man. Now maybe I'm mistaken but isn't this a bit boastful? Please do not misunderstand my meaning here. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a self sufficient member of society. But should we then in turn advertise our accomplishments to the point where it becomes obnoxious and aggravating? Every other sentence should not contain a memo list of the material possessions you have obtained or your employer's name and address. Somewhere along the way our perspective has become blurred. Women unfortunately have been forced into an unwanted situation and have embraced its challenges. Times have changed and regrettably have gone from one extreme to the next. Forty or fifty years ago women were confined to working inside the home. We were titled as domestic because we cared for our children, washed clothes, cleaned house, and served our husbands at dinner time. Present day, most black households are single parent and run by mom. She works both inside and outside of the home. She brings home the bacon and fries it up too. Now maybe I'm a bit confused, but when did this become acceptable in our community? When is it okay for a woman to do it all, all by herself? And the flipside is do we really? The last time I checked you still needed a man to make a baby. I still call Mr. Fix-It to hang a heavy mirror in my home, or call my daddy before I purchase a major appliance. I take my car to get serviced and when I look behind the counter it appears that only men are working. Whether we claim him as ours or not, I assure you there is a man present in the life of every so called independent woman. So are you really independent? I'm not! There are certain things that have to be done that I just can't do; and there are others things that need to be handled that I simply don't want to do. I think I'll tweak the phrase a little as it refers to me: I'm Semi-Independent!

I'm Just Sayin!
Niqi P.